Tom's phone buzzed at 6:40 on a Thursday morning in October. The message from Ines, their au pair, was three lines long and ended with "I'm so sorry." She had a fever, she had been awake since three, and she could not stand up without the room tilting.
Tom had a 9:00 presentation he had been preparing for weeks. His partner, Elena, was already on the train. Their two kids needed breakfast, school bags and a lift by 8:15. And somewhere between the kettle and the front door, Tom caught himself typing the question he was not proud of: "Do you think you could manage just the school run?"
He deleted it before sending. But the next hour was a mess of calls to a grandmother who was away, a neighbour who did not pick up, and a school secretary who asked a perfectly reasonable question about who would be collecting. Nobody had done anything wrong. The gap was that nobody had agreed, before that morning, what happens when the person who normally covers the kids is the one who needs looking after.
This guide covers the three things that make a sick day manageable: knowing what your au pair is owed, having a backup childcare plan that does not depend on her, and having the conversation once, in a calm week, so you are not improvising at 6:40 a.m.
🌍 Country-specific rules. Au pair sick pay is set differently in the US J-1 programme, in Germany and in Austria, and often by the agency contract rather than by law. We name the source for every rule below and say where we could not find one. Always check your own agency contract and the current official rules. This article is general information, not legal advice.
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Au Pair Sick Pay: What the Rules Say
The first question most hosts ask is whether they still pay. The honest answer depends on where you live, and in some countries the rule sits in the agency's paperwork rather than in a statute.
Sick Pay by Country
| USA 🇺🇸 | Germany 🇩🇪 | Austria 🇦🇹 | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Is sick pay set in law? | The federal au pair rule names no sick-leave provision | The Federal Employment Agency's au pair sheet does not name one either | Yes, au pairs fall under a domestic workers' law that covers sick pay |
| What agencies say | Stipend continues during illness | Pocket money continues, commonly up to six weeks | The statute applies |
| Who pays for medical care | Program insurance plan (with gaps) | Host family pays health and accident insurance premiums | See the USP guidance |
| Where to check | Your sponsor's host family handbook | Your agency contract | Austrian USP guidance and your contract |
The USA
The federal rule for the J-1 au pair programme is 22 CFR § 62.31. It sets the stipend by a method, a weekly rate based on 45 hours of child care, and caps the working week at 45 hours and 10 hours a day. It also requires two weeks of paid vacation. We found no sentence in it about sick leave or about stipend during illness.
So the rule that matters in practice is your sponsor's. Au Pair in America's host family handbook is direct: "Do be prepared to arrange alternative care for your children during this time. The minimum weekly stipend is to be paid during these unavoidable periods" (Au Pair in America handbook). An older copy of Cultural Care's host family agreement says the stipend "cannot be withheld for any reason", including "lost time due to illness" (2010 agreement, hosted by AuPairMom). That copy is from 2010, so read your current agreement rather than relying on it.
The pattern is the same across the sponsors we looked at: the stipend carries on, and finding cover is the family's job.
Germany
In Germany an au pair is not paid a wage in the usual sense. The Federal Employment Agency's au pair sheet says an au pair receives "keinen Arbeitslohn im üblichen Sinne", only pocket money of €280 a month, independent of the hours of housework (BA sheet, April 2023). The same sheet says the host family must take out health and accident insurance for the au pair and bear all the premiums.
What the sheet does not do is spell out a sick-pay period. The six-week figure you will see quoted comes from agencies: Welcome Au-Pair writes that pocket money continues in case of illness for up to six weeks or until the contract ends, and multikultur says the same. Treat that as the common agency standard, check what your own contract says, and put it in writing. Our guide to what the pocket money covers explains the €280 in more detail.
Austria
Austria is different. The Austrian business service portal states that au pairs are covered by the Hausgehilfen- und Hausangestelltengesetz, which regulates employment-law entitlements such as leave and continued pay in case of illness (USP Austria). If you host in Austria, read the statute or ask the authority, because the entitlement is not left to the agency.
Other Countries
For the UK, the Netherlands, France and elsewhere, we have not verified the rule, so we are not going to guess. Ask your agency or the relevant authority, and ask for the answer in writing.
Key takeaway: Wherever you host, the practical rule is the same: a sick au pair is paid as normal and a sick day is not a debt. The sources we found support this in the US sponsor handbooks and the German agency standard, and Austria sets it by law.
What "Paid as Normal" Looks Like in Practice
Even when everyone agrees the money continues, the awkward bits are the small ones. These are the points where families trip.
Don't Make the Hours Back
A sick day is not borrowed time. If your au pair is ill on Tuesday, she does not owe you Tuesday's hours on Saturday. This is also where the weekly limits bite. In the US the cap is 45 hours a week and 10 hours a day, and our guide to the 45-hour, 10-day rule shows how quickly a "quick catch-up" pushes a week over. In Germany the BA sheet says an au pair should not be asked for more than 6 hours a day and 30 hours a week, and that hours beyond that need prior agreement and must be made up with time off.
Keep Sick Days Separate From Vacation
Illness is not vacation. A sick au pair should not find her paid vacation days quietly reduced, and you should keep a separate count. Our time-off guide has a simple tracker you can copy.
Decide About the Doctor's Note Now
Nothing we found sets a note requirement for au pairs in the US or Germany, so it is yours to agree. A reasonable middle: a message by a fixed time on the first morning, no note for one or two days, and a visit to a doctor if it lasts longer, which is also better for her. Write the rule down in your family handbook so neither side has to invent it on the day.
Make It Easy to Say "I'm Sick"
The biggest risk is not an au pair who calls in sick too often. It is one who does not call in sick at all, because she thinks it will cause trouble, and passes a stomach bug to your children. Say out loud, in the first week, that being ill means resting and getting care, and that you will handle the childcare.
Build the Backup Childcare Plan Before You Need It
The best protection against a bad morning is a plan that does not need the au pair. The aim is simple: when the message arrives, you already know who calls whom.
The Three Tiers
Think in layers, and arrange them from fastest to slowest to reach.
| Tier | Who | Best for | What to set up now |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1. In the house | A parent working from home, a flexible shift, or swapping with your partner | Same-morning cover | Agree which parent is "first call" on which weekday |
| 2. Your network | A grandparent, neighbour, close friend or another host family | A day or two | Ask them now, and say how much notice you can give |
| 3. Paid cover | A vetted babysitter, nanny share, or a local drop-in or emergency care option | Longer illness or no network | Meet them once, agree rates, save their number |
None of these has to be perfect. What matters is that tier 2 or 3 exists on paper before the morning, because asking a friend for a favour at 6:40 a.m. works much less well than asking in September.
Ask Your Employer Early
If tier 1 depends on your own flexibility, find out what your workplace allows before you need it. Ask whether you can work from home at short notice and how emergency family leave is handled. We cannot give you the rule, because it depends on your country and contract, but knowing the answer on a calm Tuesday is worth more than guessing on a bad Thursday.
The Backup Briefing
A sitter who has never met your family needs the same handful of facts your au pair carries in her head. Put them on one page:
- Children's names, ages and school or nursery times, including who collects whom
- Allergies, medication and permissions you have agreed, in plain words
- The pediatrician and the nearest urgent care or hospital
- Parent numbers and a second contact
- House basics: Wi-Fi, where the spare key is, what the kids eat
- What not to do: for example "no screens before school" or "no car trips"
Our guide to emergency contacts for au pairs walks through who belongs on that list. Keep it where it can be found in ten seconds, not in a chat thread from last spring.
Key takeaway: A backup plan is not a sign you expect your au pair to be ill. It is what lets you say "stay in bed, we've got it" and mean it.
The First Hour on a Sick Morning
When the message comes, the order of things matters more than speed. This sequence keeps the morning from running away from you.
A Calm Checklist
- Reply to her first. Ask how she is and whether she needs anything: water, medicine, a doctor, a ride. Say that you will sort the kids.
- Decide who covers. Work down the tiers. If tier 1 is possible, take it and tell the others it is not needed.
- Tell the school or nursery who will be collecting, if it is not the usual person.
- Brief whoever is covering with the one-page sheet, not a rushed phone call.
- Check on her at lunch, not to ask when she'll be back, but to ask how she is.
If She Needs a Doctor
An au pair in a new country may not know where to go. If she needs a doctor, help with the practical side: a lift, the first phone call, finding an in-network clinic. In the US, our guide to program health insurance explains urgent care versus the ER and what the plan covers. In Germany the BA sheet puts the health and accident insurance premiums on the host family, so cost is no reason for her to hesitate.
Protecting the Kids
If your au pair has something catching, ask your pediatrician what is sensible for your children. As a general rule, keep her resting away from the shared kitchen and living areas where you can, wash hands and clear shared cups. If one of the children is ill at the same time, our sick-child protocol covers that side.
When It Lasts Longer Than a Few Days
A cold is a day or two. Something longer changes the plan, and this is where tier 3 earns its keep.
Bring In the Agency
If the illness runs beyond a few days, tell your agency. In the US that is your local coordinator, and Au Pair in America's handbook describes what happens after a serious illness or injury that prevents the au pair from working: the agency says it will make a reasonable effort to find an alternate au pair, and the family is expected to host her until arrangements are made. In Germany, contact the agency that placed her, or the contact in your contract.
Plan Round the Gap
For a longer absence, the sitter or the network has to cover more than a morning. Agree a rota with the people in tiers 1 and 2, pay the sitter in tier 3, and treat the cost as part of hosting an au pair, not as a penalty on her. Keep her stipend or pocket money running as above, and be honest with yourself about the actual cost of the gap.
Important: If illness comes with long-lasting low mood or a sense that she is struggling beyond the physical, treat it as a wellbeing matter and speak to her gently. Our guide to what helps with homesickness covers the early signs.
Agree the Sick-Day Plan Once, in Writing
Everything above becomes easier if it is agreed before the morning. Put a short section in your written agreement or handbook.
The Five Lines to Write Down
- How she tells you: a message to both parents by a set time, for example
7:30 - What continues: stipend or pocket money as normal, no making up hours
- The doctor rule: when a visit is expected, and who helps
- Who covers: the named people for tiers 1 to 3
- When you call the agency: for example after three days of illness
Where AuPairSync Helps
This is the kind of information that is easy to write down and hard to find on the day. In AuPairSync's child profiles, the Medical tab stores emergency contacts, doctor information and insurance details, so a sitter or the other parent can find them in seconds. And the shared calendar shows an au pair's approved time off on each day it covers, so both parents see who is covering which day without a string of messages.
The Plan Is a Kindness
It is tempting to treat a sick day as a logistics problem, and it is one. But for an au pair far from home, being ill is also one of the loneliest moments of the year. What she remembers is rarely the schedule change. It is whether someone asked how she was, or whether she felt like a problem.
Tom's morning, in the end, was fine. The neighbour called back at 7:15 and took the school run. Ines slept until noon, and when she woke there was soup on the stove and a message that said only "Nothing to do today but get better." By the weekend they had written the one-page plan, and the next time a message arrived at 6:40, it took ten minutes.
Hosting an au pair this autumn? AuPairSync keeps your children's medical details, emergency contacts and the family calendar in one place, so a sick morning starts with a plan.
