5 Things Every Au Pair Needs to Know About Your Kids

You know everything about your children instinctively. The way your toddler rubs their eyes exactly 10 minutes before a meltdown. The fact that your 6-year-old will only eat pasta if it's penne, never spaghetti. That your 9-year-old claims they don't need homework help but absolutely does.

Your au pair knows none of this. And expecting them to figure it out through trial and error isn't fair to anyone — especially your kids.

Here are the five categories of information every au pair needs, documented and accessible, before they're left alone with your children.

1. Medical Information (Non-Negotiable)

This isn't optional. This is the "if you forget everything else, remember this" category.

For each child, document:

• Allergies — food, environmental, medication. Include severity levels and what to do if exposed
• Medications — what, when, how much, where they're stored
• Doctor and hospital — name, address, phone number, insurance card location
• Emergency contacts — in order of who to call first
• Medical conditions — asthma, diabetes, epilepsy — with action plans

Make it accessible

Don't bury this in a text message from three weeks ago. Put it somewhere your au pair can find in 10 seconds during a stressful moment. A child profile in AuPairSync, a laminated card on the fridge, or both.

Real scenario: Your au pair is at the playground. Your child gets stung by a bee. Are they allergic? What do they do? Can they find that information right now, on their phone, without calling you?

2. Daily Routines

Kids thrive on routine. Au pairs thrive on knowing what the routine is.

Morning Routine

• What time do they wake up (vs. what time they SHOULD wake up)?
• Breakfast preferences and rules
• Getting dressed — do they pick their own clothes? Uniform days?
• School bag checklist — what needs to go in it daily?
• Drop-off time and procedure

After School

• Snack routine
• Homework expectations
• Screen time rules and limits
• Activities and lessons — where, when, what to bring

Evening Routine

• Dinner time and expectations
• Bath/shower routine
• Bedtime — actual time, wind-down routine, any rituals
• The non-negotiables — "teeth brushed, story read, night light ON"

Pro tip: Write the routine as if you're explaining it to someone who has never met your family. Because essentially, you are.

3. Behavioral Patterns and Triggers

This is the stuff that takes parents months to learn. Save your au pair the trial-and-error.

For each child:

• What makes them upset — and how to handle it
• Comfort strategies — "She needs her stuffed elephant when she's sad"
• Warning signs — "When he gets quiet, he's about to have a tantrum"
• Discipline approach — what you do and DON'T do (be very specific)
• Sibling dynamics — who plays well together, common conflicts

Example:

"When Leo doesn't want to leave the playground, give him a 5-minute warning, then a 2-minute warning. Don't just say 'time to go' — he needs transition time. If he still refuses, offer a choice: 'Do you want to walk to the car or skip to the car?'"

This kind of detail transforms your au pair from confused outsider to confident caregiver.

4. Food and Nutrition

This seems simple until your au pair opens the fridge and has no idea what to make for lunch.

Document:

• Likes and dislikes — per child (yes, they're probably different)
• Allergies and intolerances — repeated here because it's THAT important
• Meal ideas — a list of 5-10 easy meals they can make
• Snack rules — what's allowed, when, how much
• Kitchen rules — can they use the oven? What about the expensive knife set?

The "picky eater" guide

If your child is a picky eater (and whose isn't?), give your au pair specific strategies:

• "She'll eat carrots raw but not cooked"
• "He needs ketchup with everything and that's fine"
• "Don't force her to eat — offer alternatives from the approved list"

5. Social Rules and Boundaries

Your household has unwritten rules that are obvious to you and invisible to everyone else.

Cover:

• Screen time — how much, when, which devices, approved content
• Playdates — who's allowed over, notification expectations, rules at other homes
• Going out — where can they go? Parks, shops, how far is okay?
• Phone/tablet — does your child have one? Rules around it?
• Stranger rules — what to tell the kids about talking to strangers
• Photos — can the au pair share photos of your kids? On social media?

The safety conversation

Have an explicit conversation about:

• Who is authorized to pick up your children (with photos if possible)
• What to do if someone claims to be a family friend
• When to call you vs. when to call emergency services
• Your neighborhood's specific safety considerations

Putting It All Together

The families who have the best au pair experiences share one thing: they write things down.

Not in a 47-page manual that nobody reads, but in a living, accessible document that your au pair can reference anytime. Child profiles in an app like AuPairSync, a shared document, a family wiki — the format matters less than the fact that it exists and stays current.

Update it when things change. Your child's new medication, a new food allergy, a change in school schedule — keep the information fresh.

Your au pair wants to do a great job. Give them the information they need to succeed.

Create detailed child profiles your au pair can access anytime. Download AuPairSync and set your family up for success.