Setting Up Your Au Pair for Success in the First Week

The first week with your au pair sets the tone for your entire relationship. Get it right, and you build confidence, trust, and momentum. Get it wrong, and you spend months recovering from miscommunication and confusion.

This guide walks you through the critical first seven days—from airport pickup to independent childcare—with a day-by-day plan that sets everyone up for success.

Why the First Week Is So Important

First Impressions Are Lasting

Your au pair arrives in a new country, new home, and new role. Everything feels overwhelming:

• Cultural adjustment: Different norms, communication styles, social expectations
• Language barriers: Even fluent speakers struggle with accents and idioms
• Homesickness: Missing family, friends, and familiar surroundings
• Performance anxiety: Worried about meeting your expectations
• Physical exhaustion: Jet lag, travel fatigue, new sleep environment

How you welcome and support them during this vulnerable time determines whether they feel valued or overwhelmed.

Establishing Patterns

Week one creates the patterns that will define your year together:

• Communication style: Open and honest vs. passive-aggressive
• Boundaries: Clear expectations vs. constant confusion
• Problem-solving: Collaborative vs. authoritarian
• Appreciation: Noticed and valued vs. taken for granted

Get these patterns right initially, and they become your foundation. Get them wrong, and bad habits solidify quickly.

Confidence Building

An uncertain au pair provides tentative care. A confident au pair provides excellent care:

• Confident au pairs ask questions, suggest activities, handle problems independently
• Uncertain au pairs wait for instructions, avoid initiative, feel anxious
• Your goal: Build confidence through training, support, and early wins

Clear communication of expectations from day one helps build this confidence quickly.

Before Arrival: Preparing Your Home

Au Pair's Private Space

Your au pair's bedroom is their sanctuary—their only private space in your home. Make it welcoming:

Essential Setup:

• Clean, comfortable bed with quality bedding
• Adequate storage (dresser, closet space, shelves)
• Good lighting (overhead + reading lamp)
• Window coverings for privacy
• Full-length mirror
• Wastepaper basket
• Hangers in closet
• Space for personal items and decorations

Bonus Touches:

• Welcome basket with snacks, toiletries, and local guidebook
• Fresh flowers or small plant
• Framed photos of your city's landmarks
• Local map with important locations marked
• Wifi password prominently displayed
• Phone charger (if compatible)
• Bottle of water and glass

What NOT to Do:

• Use their room for storage ("Just ignore the boxes")
• Treat it as shared family space
• Enter without knocking
• Fill it with family overflow items

Kitchen and Bathroom Access

Kitchen Setup:

• Clear shelf in pantry for au pair's food
• Designated space in refrigerator
• Explain appliance usage (dishwasher, coffee maker, stove)
• Show where dishes, utensils, and cookware are stored
• Clarify food rules (what's shared vs. what requires asking)

Bathroom Setup:

• Private bathroom if possible
• If shared, designated shelf/drawer space
• Explain hot water system
• Provide extra towels
• Stock basic toiletries for first few days

AuPairSync Setup

Before arrival, create their profile:

1. Add au pair as family member in app
2. Set up access permissions
3. Create initial weekly schedule (first week should be light)
4. Add children's profiles with basic information
5. Document house rules and emergency procedures
6. List important contacts (pediatrician, neighbors, your work numbers)

This way, they can reference everything from day one without repeatedly asking questions.

Day 1: Arrival and Welcome

Airport Pickup

Your au pair's first impression of you happens at baggage claim:

• Arrive early: Don't make them wait nervously
• Bring a welcome sign: Handmade by children is even better
• Friendly greeting: Smile, warm handshake or hug (read their comfort level)
• Offer help with luggage: They've been traveling 10+ hours
• Car ride conversation: Light topics—their flight, family back home, excitement about being here

Don't: Immediately discuss work schedule, rules, or problems. They need to decompress first.

Home Tour

Keep it simple—they won't remember everything:

Cover these essentials:

• Their bedroom ("This is your private space")
• Bathroom and how to use shower
• Kitchen and where their food goes
• Living areas they can use
• Children's bedrooms (brief look)
• Emergency exits
• Where you keep first aid kit
• How to lock/unlock doors

Don't: Overwhelm with every detail. You'll cover more tomorrow. Later in the week, you'll introduce them to daily routines for each child.

First Meal Together

Low-key family dinner or takeout:

• Ask about their favorite foods
• Share a bit about your family
• Let children ask (appropriate) questions
• Keep it under one hour—they're exhausted
• Avoid work talk

Evening Routine

Help them settle:

• Show wifi connection
• Explain when breakfast is served
• Give them your cell number for emergencies
• Encourage them to rest and recover from travel
• Tell them tomorrow's plan (sleep in, relaxed orientation)

Critical: Let them sleep as long as they need on Day 2. Jet lag recovery is essential.

Day 2: Rest, Orientation, and Logistics

Morning: Let Them Sleep

Don't wake your au pair for breakfast. Let them recover naturally from jet lag. When they wake:

• Offer simple breakfast
• Show them how to make coffee/tea
• Relaxed conversation

Afternoon: Practical Orientation

House Systems: Walk through these systematically:

1. Laundry: Where machines are, how to use them, detergent location, drying rules
2. Heating/Cooling: Thermostat, fans, window rules
3. Technology: TV, wifi, doorbell, security system
4. Trash and recycling: What goes where, pickup schedule
5. Car (if applicable): Location of keys, garage door opener, parking rules

Neighborhood Tour: Drive or walk through your neighborhood:

• Grocery store and pharmacy
• Public transportation stops
• Parks and recreation areas
• Coffee shops and restaurants
• Library
• Gas station (if driving)
• Nearest hospital/urgent care

Safety Briefing:

• Emergency numbers (911 in US, or local equivalent)
• Safe vs. unsafe areas
• Walking alone after dark policies
• Who to call if they need help

Evening: AuPairSync Training

Sit together with laptops/phones:

1. Walkthrough app features:

   • Calendar and schedule
   • Task list and how to mark complete
   • Message hub for questions
   • Child profiles with important information
   • Emergency contacts

2. Show existing content:

   • House rules you've documented
   • Children's routines and preferences
   • Medical information and allergies
   • Weekly schedule

3. Practice together:

   • Have them mark a test task complete
   • Send you a message
   • Add something to shopping list

4. Answer questions: Let them ask anything about the system

Day 3: Meet the Children (Observation Mode)

Morning: Shadow Parenting

Your au pair watches you handle morning routine:

• Wake children
• Breakfast preparation and supervision
• Getting dressed
• Brushing teeth
• Packing backpacks
• School dropoff or daycare

Narrate what you're doing:

• "I always check Emma's backpack the night before"
• "Jake needs reminders to brush teeth—I usually have to ask twice"
• "We leave by 8:00 AM to avoid traffic"

Encourage questions: "Does that make sense?" "What would you do if...?"

Afternoon: Interactive Playtime

Structured play session with you present:

• Take children to park or play in backyard
• Au pair starts interacting with children
• You observe and provide gentle guidance
• Children start building comfort with au pair

What to watch for:

• Does au pair engage enthusiastically?
• How do they handle conflicts or upsets?
• Are they attentive to safety?
• Do children respond positively?

Evening: Dinner and Bedtime (Still Observing)

Au pair observes bedtime routine:

• Dinner preparation and table manners
• Bath time
• Pajamas and teeth brushing
• Bedtime stories and tucking in

Continue narrating:

• "Emma likes two stories maximum"
• "Jake has a nightlight—he's afraid of the dark"
• "We always say goodnight to each family member"

Bedtime: First Check-In

After children are in bed, sit with your au pair:

• "How do you feel about today?"
• "What questions do you have?"
• "Is there anything that worried you?"
• "What are you excited about?"

Be encouraging: "You did great with Emma at the park" or "I loved how patient you were with Jake's questions"

Day 4: Hands-On Practice (You're Still There)

Morning Routine: Reverse Roles

Your au pair leads, you support:

• Au pair wakes children (you're nearby)
• Au pair handles breakfast
• Au pair helps with getting dressed
• Au pair does school dropoff with you in passenger seat

Provide gentle feedback:

• "That worked really well"
• "Next time, try..."
• "Emma responds better if you..."

Afternoon: Solo Activity with Children

First independent responsibility (low-stakes):

• Au pair takes children to nearby park for one hour
• You stay home but remain available by phone
• Choose a familiar location where children are comfortable

When they return:

• Ask how it went
• Let them share challenges
• Celebrate what went well
• Problem-solve together

Evening: Task Review in AuPairSync

Sit together and review task list:

• Walk through each regular task
• Discuss expected completion time
• Clarify any confusing details
• Show them how to ask questions within app

Assign first real tasks for tomorrow: Start with 3-5 simple, confidence-building tasks:

• Make children's breakfast
• Tidy playroom after school
• Read books with Emma for 20 minutes
• Help Jake with homework (you're home)

Over the coming weeks, you'll expand to the full list of 20 essential tasks for the first month.

Day 5: First Solo Morning

Morning: Independent Morning Routine

Your au pair handles school prep alone:

• You're home but in another room
• Au pair manages entire morning routine
• Au pair does school dropoff independently
• You're available by phone

When they return: Detailed debrief:

• What went smoothly?
• What was challenging?
• What questions came up?
• What would they do differently?

Celebrate wins: "You got both kids out the door on time—that's awesome!"

Afternoon: Expanded Responsibilities

Add more tasks:

• After-school pickup (now solo)
• Snack preparation
• Homework supervision
• One hour of playtime/activities

Check in briefly when you return home:

• Review their day
• Address any issues
• Provide positive feedback

Evening: Weekly Schedule Planning

Sit together and finalize next week's schedule:

• Review standard weekly routine
• Discuss any variations
• Add specific tasks for each day
• Clarify expectations and timing
• Set up recurring tasks in AuPairSync

Preview next week: "Next week you'll be mostly independent, but I'm always here if you need help"

Make sure to review your family's work hours policy to ensure you're staying within legal limits and creating a sustainable schedule.

Day 6-7: Building Independence

Weekend Integration

Balance family time with independence:

Include au pair in some family activities:

• Family breakfast or brunch
• Trip to farmers market or local attraction
• Casual family time

Give them substantial free time:

• Encourage exploration of city
• Support social connections (au pair meet-ups)
• Respect need for alone time

First Weekend Childcare Request

If you need weekend coverage:

• Keep it short (2-3 hours maximum)
• Low-stress activity (movie + popcorn, backyard play)
• You're nearby or quickly reachable
• Provide clear emergency protocols

Provide generous downtime: If they work Saturday, Sunday is fully off

End-of-Week Check-In

Sunday evening, sit together:

Structured conversation:

1. Wins: "What went really well this week?"
2. Challenges: "What was harder than expected?"
3. Questions: "What are you still unclear about?"
4. Next week: "Here's what to expect..."
5. Feedback: "Here's what I really appreciated..."

Open door policy: "I want you to always feel comfortable asking questions or raising concerns"

Week One Mistakes to Avoid

Mistake #1: Information Overload

Don't: Dump every family rule, child preference, and household system on Day 1

Do: Spread orientation over several days, focusing on immediate needs first

Mistake #2: Expecting Too Much Too Soon

Don't: Leave them alone with children on Day 2 or assign complex responsibilities immediately

Do: Build confidence gradually with low-stakes tasks before major responsibilities

Mistake #3: Not Documenting Important Information

Don't: Verbally explain everything and assume they'll remember

Do: Use AuPairSync to document procedures, schedules, and preferences they can reference anytime

Mistake #4: Forgetting Cultural Adjustment

Don't: Criticize cultural differences or expect instant adaptation

Do: Be patient with language mistakes, cultural confusion, and adjustment challenges

Mistake #5: Hovering or Disappearing

Don't: Either micromanage every moment or leave them completely on their own

Do: Provide supportive supervision that gradually reduces as confidence grows

Mistake #6: Skipping Emotional Check-Ins

Don't: Focus only on logistics and tasks

Do: Ask how they're feeling emotionally and address homesickness or anxiety

Creating Your First Week Checklist

Use AuPairSync to create this checklist:

Pre-Arrival:

• [ ] Prepare au pair's bedroom
• [ ] Stock welcome basket
• [ ] Set up AuPairSync profile
• [ ] Create children's profiles with key info
• [ ] Plan first week meals
• [ ] Arrange airport pickup

Day 1 - Arrival:

• [ ] Warm welcome at airport
• [ ] Home tour focusing on essentials
• [ ] Show au pair's bedroom
• [ ] Low-key family meal
• [ ] Early bedtime for jet lag recovery

Day 2 - Orientation:

• [ ] Let them sleep late
• [ ] House systems walkthrough
• [ ] Neighborhood tour
• [ ] Safety briefing
• [ ] AuPairSync training

Day 3 - Observation:

• [ ] Au pair shadows morning routine
• [ ] Interactive playtime with children
• [ ] Observe bedtime routine
• [ ] First formal check-in

Day 4 - Guided Practice:

• [ ] Au pair leads morning routine (you support)
• [ ] First solo activity with children (short, nearby)
• [ ] Review tasks in AuPairSync
• [ ] Assign first real tasks

Day 5 - Independence:

• [ ] First solo morning routine
• [ ] Solo after-school care
• [ ] Detailed debrief
• [ ] Finalize next week's schedule

Day 6-7 - Weekend Integration:

• [ ] Balance family time and free time
• [ ] Short weekend childcare if needed
• [ ] Encourage social connections
• [ ] End-of-week check-in

Setting Up for Long-Term Success

Establish Weekly Routines

Consistent touchpoints prevent issues:

• Sunday evenings: Week-ahead planning, schedule review
• Wednesday mid-week: Quick check-in via AuPairSync message
• Friday afternoon: Week review, acknowledgment of wins

Communication Norms

Clarify how you'll communicate:

• Urgent issues: Phone call or text
• Questions about tasks: AuPairSync message
• Schedule changes: AuPairSync calendar update with notification
• Weekly discussion: Face-to-face Sunday evening

Ongoing Training

First month = extended training period:

• Week 1: Observation and guided practice
• Week 2: Independent basic tasks
• Week 3: Add complexity and responsibilities
• Week 4: Full routine with occasional challenges

Cultural Exchange Component

Remember: Au pair program includes cultural exchange:

• Support language class enrollment
• Encourage social activities with other au pairs
• Provide opportunities for local exploration
• Share cultural traditions from both families
• Make them feel like family, not just employees

Conclusion

Your au pair's first week is your opportunity to build a foundation of trust, confidence, and clear communication. By providing structured onboarding that balances training with rest, gradually building independence, and documenting everything in AuPairSync, you set everyone up for a successful year together.

The time you invest in Week 1 pays dividends for the entire arrangement. A confident, well-trained au pair provides better care, asks questions when needed, and feels like a valued member of your family rather than an uncertain employee.

Start strong, communicate clearly, and use AuPairSync to ensure nothing falls through the cracks. Your first week success becomes your year-long success.

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Related Articles:

• How to Communicate Expectations Clearly with Your Au Pair
• Creating Effective Daily Routines for Your Children
• 20 Essential Tasks to Assign Your Au Pair in the First Month